Throughout our lives we experience many moments of chaos, which in turn give rise to order, until it is again time to let go, restructure and rebuild.
Yet all too often we see chaos as bad, as an unwelcomed force that disturbs the peace of our lives. We are convinced that everything is exactly as it should be, and then we are hit with chaos. The chaos I am referring to here is not the chaos of tragic loss—the death of a loved one or a serious illness. Rather I am speaking about the chaos of change, old age, the empty nest, leaving home, wrinkles, and relationships that shift or end.
And it is these types of chaos that invite us into deeper growth. They take us unwillingly into Hades, into the deepest recesses of our psyche, our untouched Shadow, and they show us what we must now discard—that is, if we are eager to venture into uncharted territory. We know we want to. We desperately seek such freedom, but chaos is frightening.
Maybe it’s time to reframe how we see chaos. Maybe we could see chaos as a loving friend, the kind that encourages us to eat our vegetables and let go of that loser boyfriend. Chaos hurts because the new hurts. But deep down this is what we crave—a new order, for a while, until chaos comes knocking again, inviting us into the next chapter of our adventure.
Tara Zafft, Ph.D. 