“Imagine if our negative feelings, or at least lots of them, turned out to be illusions, and we could dispel them by just contemplating them from a particular vantage point.” -Robert Wright
The term “toxic positivity” is everywhere. It seems we go from one phase of punching pillows with unresolved childhood angst to positive psychology and podcasts dedicated to happiness even in the darkest of times. And now we’re talking about toxic positivity and the danger of burying grief and sorrow. It seems like we put a lot of energy into attaining ideal emotional states. But this is emotionally draining and unnatural. It is normal and natural in life to think and feel a variety of thoughts and emotions. And it would seem that a better focus of our energy would be toward curiosity and understanding the state of our mind, rather than forcing or denying our real lived experience. Everyone we meet is a teacher; everything we think and feel is a teacher. Some teachers are fierce and unrelenting; some are gentle and loving. But all are part of the beautiful and mysterious web of life.
Tara Zafft, Ph.D. 