Monthly Archives: November 2021

I’ve got a stack of books I want to read. They vary from cookbooks to memoirs, New York Times’ ten best of whatever lists, and various recommendations. I don’t always choose the order; sometimes it is as simple as the next book on the everygrowing stack. So, I found it slightly ironic that I foundContinue reading “Baselines and Boundaries”

It’s early. The girls, home from college, are still asleep. My husband and our faithful Golden Riley are also still asleep. We’re missing one member of the Zafft household, but he will hopefully be home in about three weeks. So, before the baking and kneading and wine drinking begin, I sit by candlelight in myContinue reading “Thanksgiving Thoughts”

I was talking to a friend recently about shields. And all the ways we protect ourselves. About how some things—like scary people and scary weather and poisonous food—are dangerous and can hurt us. And other things—unresolved conflicts, the nasty habit we pretend we don’t have, or that closet asking to be sorted through—we avoid, becauseContinue reading “Precious Soul”

I’ve been thinking lately about invisibility. About how easy it is to shrink behind the forms of others. As children we learn to defer to booming authoritarian voices. We learn that exhibitionism can be rewarded with a slap on the face or unkind word. We learn that our bodies attract often unwanted attention from creepyContinue reading “Visibility”

My daughter Elly is one of my go-to book recommenders. What are you reading now? I ask A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. Okay, okay I get that you like the book, but what’s it called. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. That’s the title. Any book that claims to be a heartbreaking work ofContinue reading “Secrets”

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about memory. What we remember. How we remember. We completely forget certain incidents, which at the time we believed were life-altering, and then find ourselves awake in the middle of the night—our minds obsessing over trivial data, or what Annie Dillard calls, the complex interior junk you carryContinue reading “Memory”

In traditional Jewish weddings, the bride circles around the groom either three or seven times under the chuppah. Some believe this circling creates a magical wall of protection. This was one of my favorite parts of my wedding. Although I was performing a deeply spiritual and symbolic act, I also felt like an animal markingContinue reading “Spiral”

A friend recently asked me, how are you today? It’s hard question to answer with a nondescript response like fine. That today asks us to go a bit deeper, to be a bit more honest. And it got me thinking about questions. But even more, why we ask questions and how we receive the answers.Continue reading “Inquire Within”

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the commodification of the body. The female body, the marginalized body. I’ve been thinking about all the ways we manipulate our internal and external selves out of fear. Because, what if he doesn’t like me or she rejects me? What if my parents think I’m a loser or my bossContinue reading “Welcome Mat”