In traditional Jewish weddings, the bride circles around the groom either three or seven times under the chuppah. Some believe this circling creates a magical wall of protection.
This was one of my favorite parts of my wedding. Although I was performing a deeply spiritual and symbolic act, I also felt like an animal marking the territory of my new family. Beyond this line, you may not cross.
Only, it was not a line, it was a circle. Or rather, a spiral, which ironically has been the symbol I dream, paint, and often write about. The spiral, found in labyrinths, in nature, and ancient relics, represents change, growth, and the cycle of life.
The spiral invites us to walk into the new and clear away the old, again and again and again.
It is an endless process, because the more we discard, the more we become sensitized to our interior world, and the burdens we have unconsciously been carrying. And we begin to understand that it may just be possible to release our struggle.
I have begun writing my memoir, and I am struck by the things I remember, by the things I have carried unconsciously—all the limiting beliefs about myself and the world that I accepted as truth. Maybe it’s time to question these…
And maybe it’s time to create magical walls of protection around ourselves, to mark our own territory, to say, beyond this exquisite everchanging spiral, you may not come; you are not invited to my feast.
It’s hard. Especially when there has been trauma. It’s hard to trust that I know what and who are best for me, and I can decide. Baby steps. Always baby steps. And love. Always love.