Monthly Archives: December 2021

We are nearing that time of year, the end of the year. And the age-old tradition of making New Year’s Resolutions. I am not anti-resolution. I love goals, and anyone who knows me knows that I am the queen of lists. I’ve got a dry erase board on the fridge for just that purpose! ButContinue reading “Fulcrum”

In his recent poem “Vaccinated”, Jericho Brown writes about the first time he went out after having been vaccinated and attending a performance of the first Black Miss International Queen. About the poem, he writes that he realized just how much I need social interaction (and social reinforcement from queer people in particular) in orderContinue reading “Calling all Reinforcements!”

I’ve been thinking a lot about apologies. The I’m sorry’s we say and the ones we hear. Apologies are great. And necessary for healthy relationships. We need to own up. But, oftentimes, apologies are not declarative offerings, but rather requests riddled with expectations. It goes something like this: Please help me rewrite the version ofContinue reading “I’m Sorry’s”

I think one of the most challenging elements to growing up is accepting that life can be complicated and mysterious and nuanced. That easy answers are not always found. Especially when it comes to our families of origin. How do I have a relationship with this person I really love but who also hurt meContinue reading “Difficult and Radiant”

I love the music of Jon Baptiste! His songs remind me to give space to the fullness of life—all the pain, all the joy. It’s all true. Sometimes at the same time. But what about those feelings about others? The ones we love? But who also hurt us? That’s tough, and often we fear feelingContinue reading “Sing!”

I’ve started baking again. There was a time, when the kids were little, that I loved baking. Apple Calvados cake. Blueberry muffins. Oatmeal Raisin cookies. Sometimes yeasty breads and loafs. But I gradually stopped, and I’m not sure why. I think it’s interesting that, after toilet paper, the supplies supermarkets ran out of at theContinue reading “Sweetness”

As we inch toward the Winter Solstice (for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere), I find myself thinking about darkness, about long dark nights, dark periods in our lives, the darkness within. And how these times of darkness can be profound times of introspection and perhaps growth. Granted, I am not a winter person.Continue reading “Darkness”

This title is taken from a line Roxane Gay’s book Hunger where she states, I am stronger than I am broken. The book and Gay’s journey, which I’ve written about previously, remain with me. In particular how we relate to brokenness—to broken moments in our lives, broken relationships, and seeing ourselves as broken. One ofContinue reading “Stronger than Broken”

The week before the girls came home for Thanksgiving, I was filling the fridge with their favorite foods. Elly loves raspberries. Eva loves smoked salmon. And I baked pumpkin bread and made a winter potage, all in preparation of their visit. As I stirred and sifted and burned and spilled, I felt grateful for theContinue reading “Empty?”