It’s rare that I read a book whose first pages feel like a long-lost friend, a voice I’ve been waiting to hear, a message I know deep down but somehow forgot.
I was spending time with a friend a few days ago, and she said, oh Tara you must read this book. I just finished it, and now my daughter is reading it. The author is Israeli, she lives in NY, she served in the IDF, she writes about trauma, and there is so much in her book and her life that you will personally connect to.
My friend was right. “Emotional Inheritance” by Dr. Galit Atlas has been the book I have been searching for. And I devoured it in a day and a half.
The most challenging aspect of my healing journey has been my constant swing between mourning the pain and trauma of my childhood and mourning the pain and trauma of my mother’s childhood. When I would start to explore my childhood, I would become overwhelmed with feelings of sadness and fear and shame. And then anger and resentment. But then I would remember my mother’s own childhood and feel such guilt and shame for not being more understanding of her pain.
Because she did the best she could, right?
After reading Dr. Atlas’ book I see that the journey is not so linear or black and white. I see that overidentification with my mother’s story kept me from feeling my pain. And my anger and resentment could sit alongside gratitude and love. Our healing journey requires an ongoing dialogue with our capacity to search for emotional truths, to tolerate pain, and to mourn, Dr. Atlas writes.
And thus, little by little, baby step by baby step, we can transform our fate to destiny.
Tara Zafft, Ph.D. 