Freedom to Choose

This year Passover begins the evening of Friday, April 15. While traditional Passover dishes are not to my liking (I’m not a fan of matzo!), it is the holidays that most resonates with me. Because Passover is about freedom.

I’ve spent most of my conscious life trying to be free. Of my past.  Of pain. And I’ve tried so many things! Books, workshops, retreats. Breathwork, hikes up mountains, and quiet time alone. And I’ve had a lot of teachers.

And every year, as I observe Passover again, I find myself asking the same question—am I free?

Yes, and no. Yes, I am no longer a child who has no agency. Yes, I have the ability to choose whether to forgive or carry resentment. Yes, I have the resources to nurture and hold past wounds and love and forgive myself.

But no, I cannot erase the past. No, I cannot invent a different family of origin. No, I cannot pretend away all the intergenerational trauma.

The road to freedom is a bumpy one. We figure it out as we go along, as did those who came before us. As poet Ocean Vuong says, survival is a creative act. We are, all of us, survivors. Creators.

So this Passover, I find myself asking  different question; not am I free? But rather, how can I choose every day to bring more freedom to others?

This is particularly relevant this year, as so many Ukrainians have had their freedom stripped from them. This is a question perhaps we all can ask ourselves—how can I choose every day to bring more freedom and peace and healing to those in need?