Author Archives: Musings

I love the musical “The King and I”. And I love Yul Brynner’s portrayal of the king in the 1956 film version with Deborah Kerr. But one of my least favorite quotes of all time is from this film, when Brynner’s king says, “A girl is like a blossom, with honey for just one man.Continue reading “Become Home”

A few weeks ago, a friend and I were commiserating. We were sharing recent moments of insecurity and some tips that had helped us in our respective low moments. My friend said that she had bought a mug with some positive affirmation; I can’t remember what it was but something along the lines of “you’reContinue reading “Cup of Love”

Growing up in an alcoholic and abusive home, I learned early on to hide the hurt. I learned to disassociate. I got very good at lying to myself and others. And, I developed a very presentable impression of a person who had her shit together. But I definitely didn’t and somewhere in some closet thereContinue reading “Dual Citizen”

It’s been a while since I’ve written, but I’m back… Last week, my eighteen year old daughter and I went to the farmer’s market in Little Italy. It was a warm San Diego morning, like the mornings I remembered from my childhood in San Diego, but so different from the humid St. Louis summer morningsContinue reading “Playing in the Fountain”

“Nowhere to go. Nothing to do. No one to be.” -The Buddha When my kids were little, we lived abroad, and we’d usually travel back to the States at least once a year to visit the grandparents. Upon landing, I’d have to fill out a landing card, and I always got stuck at the emptyContinue reading “Just Being”

“My worth started with me trying on my faith.” -Sarah Jakes Roberts In a recent interview, when asked how she created her sense of self-worth, after years of insecurity and self-hatred, Sarah Jakes Roberts replied with the above quote. She went on to explain that at first she didn’t believe she was worthy of loveContinue reading “Trying it On”

“There are no steps, just stepping stones.” Gabor Mate I have begun building my team–my intersecting, eclectic, multi-talented support team. These are the thinkers and philosophers and poets and friends and family who inspire me, teach me, guide me, open my heart, and help me hold my pain, and give me the strength to holdContinue reading “Stepping Stones…building my team”

“Imagine if our negative feelings, or at least lots of them, turned out to be illusions, and we could dispel them by just contemplating them from a particular vantage point.” -Robert Wright The term “toxic positivity” is everywhere. It seems we go from one phase of punching pillows with unresolved childhood angst to positive psychologyContinue reading “State of Mind”

“You are not broken, in need of fixing.Rather, you are deeply hurt, in need of care.” -Arielle Schwartz So many of us are hurting right now—whether from the lockdowns or illness or financial challenges or isolation or the presence of old traumas triggered the current state of our world. Let’s just be honest—it’s hard rightContinue reading “Care—of all kinds”

“Rather than changing or not having the thoughts and feelings that make up our experience, mindfulness is about changing our relationship to them.” -Judson Brewer My three children were quite young when we moved to San Francisco. They’d wake up early with endless amounts of energy and we’d head out in search of yet anotherContinue reading “Changing our Relationship”